In this post: Feeling guilty about taking a break? Discover why rest is essential for mental and physical health, how to overcome guilt around resting, and practical self-care tips to recharge without regret. Learn how to prioritise rest for well-being and show up fully in your life.
As the year winds down, so many of us feel pressure to “keep going” and handle it all, even if we’re already running on empty.
If you’re exhausted but pushing through anyway, you’re not alone. This year, I found myself feeling the weight of exhaustion too – and it’s taught me a lot about why rest isn’t selfish but essential.
Earlier this year, I was full of grief after losing three of our beloved pets along with my husband’s grandmother passing away all within three months of one another.
I knew it was a lot to process, so I gave myself time to grieve. Or I thought I did…
But the exhaustion that hit me after creating the content for my Halloween Quest (you can still sign up for that here), made me realise that I hadn’t really let myself rest fully.
In reality, I kept pushing forward as if things were “normal” when, deep down, I needed a pause to reconnect with myself and process my feelings.
I’d fallen back into the habit of not dealing with my feelings because it was “inconvenient” to do that when it felt like I needed to keep moving to keep up with everything. And I felt guilty whenever I wasn’t “being productive enough”.
But now I’m completely exhausted. I didn’t allow myself to rest deeply and now I’m paying for it by feeling drained, irritable, and just… empty. I’ve finally got the wake-up call that I needed.
Does this sound familiar? If so, keep reading.
Let’s dive into why rest often feels selfish, why it’s anything but, and how to give yourself permission to prioritise self-care—without the guilt.
Why Rest Feels Selfish (and Why It’s Really Not)
In today’s world, productivity is often equated to worth. We can feel like our value is tied to how much we can achieve, and it’s common to feel guilty when we slow down.
For many of us, especially women, there’s also the added layer of feeling responsible for the well-being of those around us. We feel we should always be there, always ready to give.
But the truth is, without rest, we’re at risk of burnout.
Our bodies and minds need downtime to recharge and process emotions.
If we don’t allow ourselves this time, we may become irritable, anxious, and struggle to handle life’s challenges in a healthy way. Rest isn’t just “nice to have”, it’s essential.
Taking a break isn’t a sign of laziness – it’s a powerful act of self-care and self-preservation.
The Impact of Rest on Your Mental and Physical Health
When we avoid rest, we’re essentially putting off the opportunity to heal, both mentally and physically.
This can lead to chronic stress which can affect everything from our mood to our immune system, leading to issues like anxiety, low energy, and even physical illnesses.
Over time, ignoring our need for rest can wear down our resilience and make us feel like we’re just going through the motions, which can result in depression and thoughts of ending it all (yes, it’s that serious!).
It’s something that I’ve experienced in the past before being diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I also got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease during this time.
Now, I know the warning signs to look for and I’m changing things up before they get that bad.
Warning signs that you’re not getting enough rest
- Consistently feeling tired or fatigued
- Experiencing brain fog
- Finding it harder to remember things
- Getting irritated, angry or sad easier than usual
- Lacking the energy to do things that are important to you
- Falling asleep during the day even though you’re not sick
- Being hungrier than normal
- Feeling stressed and anxious
- Physical aches and pains
- Not caring about normal interests or feeling numb
Take a moment to notice whether you’re experiencing any of these symptoms and, if so, do something about it before things get even worse. Go see your doctor, create a plan to get more rest, learn mindfulness and other stress reduction techniques
By choosing to prioritise rest, we’re not only preventing mental and emotional problems, we’re giving ourselves the foundation to show up and thrive in our lives – not just for ourselves but our loved ones as well – in a way that’s healthy and sustainable.
My Personal Strategies for Recharging Without Guilt
Learning to embrace rest as a necessary part of life has been an eye-opening journey for me. Here are some of the techniques I’ve started using:
1. Deep Breathing Techniques to Feel Centred
Belly Breathing: This is a quick method you can use without much thinking to reconnect to your body and calm your mind. Start by placing one hand on your chest and the other on your belly, then take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and funnel it down to your lower lungs so that you can feel your belly expand. Then exhale slowly through your mouth, focusing on the movement in your belly.
4-7-8 Breathing: Especially useful first thing in the morning or before bed to set the scene for more calm and less stress. Inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds, and exhale slowly for eight seconds. This breathing method promotes relaxation by slowing down the heart rate and can be particularly effective in helping you unwind.
2. Resetting Sleep with a Pre-Bed Routine
Sleep really is at the core of good rest but when we feel guilty for resting, it can be easy to put sleep off or rush around until just before bed. This can prevent us from getting the 7-8 hours of quality sleep that is needed for recovery and recharging energy levels.
To combat this, I like to use a pre-bed routine (or ritual if you prefer that word!) to get me ready for a good night’s sleep.
My routine includes dimming the lights about an hour before bed, switching to reading a physical book to avoid screens, taking some deep breaths (using the techniques above) and sometimes doing gentle stretches or yoga.
Other ideas for a pre-bed routine include eating dinner early (ideally 4 hours before sleep); using aromatherapy with a diffuser or essential oils dabbed on your pillow or skin; having a bath or shower; and/or noting your worries down to release them before sleep.
You might also want to think about your sleep environment. Things like the level of noise, light and temperature can affect your sleep quality.
3. Journaling to Process Emotions
It’s sometimes far too easy to brush off what we are feeling. In fact, we can become so good at it that we don’t even realise what we’re doing!
To avoid this, I’ve started a daily journaling practice of asking myself, “What am I feeling today?”.
This allows me to intentionally process my emotions by taking the time to really check in with myself.
Then, depending on what comes up, I can follow this up with the question, “What, if anything, do I need to feel better?”.
This isn’t about repressing any negative feelings I may be experiencing, it’s about acknowledging them and giving myself what I need to deal with them in a healthy way.
4. Releasing Guilt with Affirmations
Affirmations have become a key part of my self-care toolkit, helping me shift my mindset when feelings of guilt around rest come up.
Here are a few that I’ve found especially grounding:
🧡 I deserve to take care of myself just as much as I care for others.
🧡 By caring for myself, I am able to show up more fully for others.
🧡 It’s okay to slow down and find my own pace.
🧡 My energy is valuable, and I honour it by resting when I need to.
🧡 I give myself permission to rest and recharge.
Using these affirmations reminds me that rest isn’t an indulgence – it’s an act of love for myself and those around me.
5. Energising with Exercise
You might be wondering, “What the heck??!!”, but it’s true – exercising CAN increase your energy levels!
You just have to find the right kind of exercise that works for you.
For me, it’s going for a walk in nature or dancing around the house to my favourite upbeat tunes.
For you, it might be walking your dog around the block, playing a team sport with your friends, joining the local aqua aerobics class, or doing a gentle yoga session.
There are so many ways you can exercise so it’s just a matter of finding what feels good for you and then intentionally incorporating time in your week to do it.
6. Getting support
Getting support to help you rest seems so obvious but it’s something that most of us don’t do.
Personally, I’ve had this story that I need to do everything on my own to be a successful person. But it’s such BS!
The reality is that we are meant to get support from one another to thrive – that’s why, as humans, we prosper when we live in open communities that freely share knowledge and resources. It’s impossible to be good at everything and have all the answers yourself.
We are most successful in life when we ask for help and get the support we need before things become a big problem.
So, I’m taking myself off to see a therapist because I’ve realised that I need to deal with my emotional baggage on a deeper level than I can alone to achieve that sense of rest and renewal that will help me to flourish.
The type of support you need will depend on what is draining your energy and how you want to or need to recharge. It might be that you need someone to mind the kids for an hour each week to give yourself some quiet downtime.
Or perhaps it’s getting someone to help out with the yard work in exchange for something that’s more in your wheelhouse. Or it could even be going on a holiday that’s all about relaxation and renewal.
Take a moment to think about what would feel most supportive to you as you look for a better balance when it comes to rest.
Try My Ultimate Self-Care Workbook
For those of you who want to deepen your commitment to self-care, I’ve created a resource that can help you along the way.
My Ultimate Self-Care Workbook is a free guide with exercises, tips, and journaling prompts to help you create a personalised self-care plan. Over 200 people have already downloaded it and are finding it helpful for prioritising themselves without the guilt.
Sign up here to get your free copy and start building a life where rest and self-care are central.
How Rest Lets You to Show Up for What Matters Most
Taking time to rest isn’t just about feeling better in the moment – it also helps you show up more fully for the people and things that matter most in your life.
When you’re rested, you’re able to engage with more energy, patience, and focus, whether it’s in your relationships, your work, or personal projects.
Rest allows us to recharge so that we can be present and thrive.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going!
If you’re on a journey to embrace rest, or if you’re struggling with feelings of guilt around self-care, I’d love to hear from you.
Let’s connect over on Instagram – share your thoughts, questions, or even your own rest practices by reaching out to me @proudhappybrave.
Final Thoughts: Embracing Rest as a Form of Self-Care
It’s easy to feel guilty about taking a break when there’s so much on our plates, but choosing to rest isn’t selfish – it’s essential.
Resting allows us to recharge our energy and handle life’s challenges with resilience so that we can come out the other side and thrive. So, the next time you’re tempted to keep pushing through, remember that you’re allowed to pause, breathe, and relax.
Not only that, when we intentionally take time to rest and process our emotions, we can continue to give our best in our lives, showing up the way we want to for ourselves and those we love.
So here’s to embracing rest and letting go of the guilt, one deep breath at a time!
Sarah xo
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