In this post: Boost your self-esteem and build your confidence with these 5 tips. Benefits include becoming your own cheerleader and letting go of your self-doubt.
Let’s face it, having poor confidence in yourself or low self-esteem can really make life less enjoyable and even, at times, downright difficult. Not to mention that harbouring low confidence and self-doubts can hold us back from living a truly fulfilling life and from reaching for our dreams.
I know that poor self-esteem is something that I really struggled with for YEARS and I am definitely guilty of letting it hold me back from doing things that I really wanted to do.
Nowadays, while I still catch myself doubting my abilities at times, I feel like day-to-day my self-esteem is strong and I’m more of a cheerleader for myself than a down-in-the-mouth Nellie (yes, I did just make that up but, trust me when I say, I was one once!).
How did I get from point A to point B?
Through lots of learning, trial and error. But I want it to be easier, MUCH easier for you, so I’m sharing 5 ways for you to boost your confidence and self-esteem. These are actions that I have personally taken to grow my self-esteem.
Please really take the time for yourself to start taking action to boost your self-esteem today. It is definitely worth it!
And remember, you ARE good enough and worthwhile, JUST AS YOU ARE!!
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Step One: Nurture Positive Self-Talk
It is really easy to fall into the habit of talking yourself down and beating yourself up, especially if something doesn’t go the way you had hoped. All this does is eat away at our self-esteem and confidence, which does much more damage than good.
You probably know from past experiences, that having support is a BIG factor in whether or not you succeeded in certain areas of your life. We are WAY more likely to succeed in learning something new if someone shows us a little support and encouragement along the way.
What if there was a way to have some of that support on tap 24/7?
Well there is! You just need to move from talking yourself down to becoming your own cheerleader and showing yourself a heap of love and encouragement while you make your way through life.
Okay, okay, I admit it may not always be easy and it’s probably not QUITE as fun as having outside support encouraging you on, but becoming your own cheerleader is going to see you gaining some real forward momentum. After all, believing in yourself is often the first (and possibly, biggest) hurdle you are going to need to overcome to achieve any goal.
So, how do you become your own bestie forever?
Start to take note of your current self-talk. What do you say to yourself after something goes wrong? What are you thinking about yourself when you hear about other people’s success stories? If you’re anything like I was, it’s not pretty.
The first thing I want you to do is to say ‘Stop’ if you catch yourself saying or thinking anything that you wouldn’t say to a dear friend.
Send your brain a message that you will no longer tolerate that sort of self-talk to yourself anymore.
Then mix it up.
What WOULD you say to your best friend if they are feeling the way you feel? I’m willing to bet it’s more encouraging and upbeat than what you’ve been telling yourself. Say THAT instead.
Add a healthy dose of love and understanding to the words you say to yourself from now on. You are your own life coach, so boost yourself up and stand tall!
Step Two: Know Yourself
Take some time to think about who you are as a person or who you genuinely want to be (for yourself, not for anybody else!). You may want to journal your thoughts on this or even come up with a list of what you stand for and what values are important to you.
I found that a lot of my self-esteem and confidence issues came from having lost sight of who I was and not really knowing what I valued in myself and others. I was a wishy-washy jumbled mess of random thoughts flying around in my head, generally affected by whatever mood I happened to be in at the time. SO not good for my self-esteem!
Actually taking the time to identify what did matter to me and then knowing that I already embodied a lot of those values, made me more confident in myself. It also gave me the knowledge I needed to guide my day-to-day decisions to help me act even more in alignment with who I wanted to be and THIS built up my confidence in myself even more!
Step Three: Feel Good
I don’t know about you, but when I feel good within myself, I feel more confident and better able to tackle the world. Spending a bit of time to do something that helps to nurture me or improve my mood goes a long way to helping me have better self-esteem and a better outlook on life.
What are some of the best ways to boost your feel good factor?
It really comes down to what feels most nourishing for your mind, body and soul, but here are some ideas:
- Go for a walk
- Dance to an upbeat song or two
- Do some easy stretches
- Drink plenty of water
- Add more veggies to your meals
- Get creative – art, craft, etc
- Spend time with nature
- Cuddle a pet
- Journal
- Read a good book
Pick a couple to try out this week!
Step Four: Stretch Your Comfort Zone
Okay, now that we’ve started to become our own friend, it’s time to do what friends do and give ourselves a little push to step outside of our comfort zones a bit.
While it’s well, comfy, in your comfort zone, it doesn’t really do anything to expand your horizon or grow your self-esteem. Doing things that scare you a little every now and then, actually increases your courage and helps you to feel a little braver.
Why is this?
Well, as humans, we have a tendency to overthink things and visualise scary scenarios and outcomes that could happen, particularly if it’s something that we don’t normally do. Our minds can go wild imagining up all the things that could go wrong when we don’t have any (or limited) experience of certain activities.
Our runaway minds can leave us shaking with fear about a range of possibilities that will probably never come to pass. If we let it, this fear then stops us from trying anything new, even if it’s something that could be very good for us or that we really want.
This is why it’s a good idea to stretch your comfort zone a little every so often.
By doing something that we feel a little bit of uncertainty about on a regular basis, we are showing ourselves that we can do it, and we will often find that the experience goes much better than we had imagined (or not as bad as we had feared in any case!).
Here are some ideas of how to stretch your comfort zone a little:
- Go to a cafe by yourself (take a newspaper, book, journal or laptop to keep yourself busy if needed).
- Say ‘hello, how are you?’ the next time you are at the check-out or service
counter, or even strike up a conversation about the weather. - Make a phone call you have been putting off (I find drafting a bit of a script out beforehand helps).
- Write an email to a business to let them know how their products or services have helped you, or improvements you feel they could make.
- Catch-up with friends, even if you feel anxious about social situations – the payoff of having a good chat and laugh with friends will very likely make it worth it!
- See a movie by yourself – want to see the latest blockbuster but no one else is interested? Don’t let that hold you back, go check it out by yourself!
- Write a good old-fashioned letter to a friend or family member that you haven’t spoken to in a while (keep it friendly even if there’s some bad blood between you).
- Try something new.
Step Five: Remind Yourself
Okay, an easy-peasey step to end and round it all up…
I want you to take just a few minutes to set up some reminders on your phone or computer that will pop up throughout the day. These are going to be positive words, affirmations, action reminders or quotes to give yourself a prompt or jog your memory that you are valuable as a human being and to encourage good feelings towards yourself.
I recommend having one set to come up at least once per day, but probably no more than 3 per day otherwise you might start getting annoyed at your phone!
Use words that feel inspiring and empowering. And if you’re having trouble thinking of your own, here are some examples:
You are amazing, just as you are.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into place. (Lucille Ball)
Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
You can do it.
You are just as worthy of goodness as anybody.
You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. (C.S. Lewis)
You are not how other people see you. (wholeheartedwoman.org)
Inhale courage, exhale fear.
You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.
Don’t give up. I believe in you.
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I really hope you found this post helpful and that you can use it to take action on building up your confidence and self-esteem.
Start with step one and work from there or choose one that resonates with you to kick start your journey today!
And, please, always remember that you are good enough and worthwhile JUST AS YOU ARE!
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What action will you take to boost your self-esteem today?
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