Taking the time to work out my core values was a powerful leap forward in my journey to get out of depression and move into a happier, more fulfilling life. This step provided the basis for me to work out what actions would make me proud day-to-day, which was key to my recovery.
I will talk more about this in future posts but, today, we are going to focus on working out what your core values are so that you can develop a master list of what matters to you most. You can then use this list to help guide you and create a life that is tailored to you. One that provides you with happiness and fulfilment, where decisions can be made quicker and easier, and one in which you have the clarity on what actions to take to be in tune with your true self.
First of all though, what are core values?
Core values are qualities or aspects of life that we see as being crucial priorities or beliefs in how we carry out our lives. They get to the heart of our behaviour and feelings and can help us to understand why we act the way we do and what we want to achieve out of life.
Initially, our core values are often guided by our past experiences and the expectations of society, but this might not truly fit into what you want out of life. Your actions might just be taking you with the flow of trying to keep up with the Jones’ or other unproductive criteria and you lose sight of what will be more meaningful for you.
By consciously going through the process of working out your top values, you can determine what qualities are in alignment with your true self. Those can then determine what direction and actions will bring you more fulfilment and make your soul sing.
How does working out your core values make your soul sing?
When you have consciously identified your top core values, you give yourself a set of clear guidelines on how you want your life to be: the behaviours you want to embody and what you want to achieve out of life. By having this self-awareness of what is important to you, you can make decisions based on your values and work out which direction or actions will enrich those areas of your life.
Examples of using your core values to influence your day-to-day actions include:
- Acting with your core values in mind by reminding yourself of what values you appreciate in yourself or others when choosing how to act – this could be as simple as saying thank you more.
- Making value-based decisions when you are presented with a choice or opportunity – such as a new job opportunity or working out where you would like to live.
- Using your core value priorities to create or rank goals that will help you to move towards experiencing more of those values in your life – such as setting a goal to reach your ideal weight because this makes you feel healthier, if you rank good health as important to you.
Not to mention, that having awareness of what you value highly in itself can often make us feel like we know ourselves better and help us to feel more grounded
So, how do you go about working out your core values?
Thankfully, there are lots of ways we can go about ranking or prioritising what qualities or beliefs you value most in life. In this post, I’m going to cover 3 methods that I have used to identify my top core values. You don’t need to do all 3 like I did (I just like to be thorough sometimes!), choose one that you feel will be most effective for you.
By the way, I’ve also created a FREE worksheet listing a heap of values to spark your thoughts, plus a spot for you to work out your top 10 most important values to you. Click on the image below to grab it now!
Now, let’s go!
Method 1:
A really simple method is to simply spend time reading over and considering a list of values and then working out what you would rank highest as the most important to you, then the second highest and so on.
You might find that when thinking about certain values, you hear a ‘Yes!’ ring out in your mind, giving you a clear sign that that value is significant to you.
When doing this exercise, be sure to rank values true to your own feelings and NOT how you believe they should be ranked according to what your family or what society expects of you. It will be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole in you’re not true to yourself!
Method 2:
While the first method is a perfectly reasonable way of identifying your core values, I found that when I spent a bit of extra time thinking about the reasons behind my feelings on certain values, I was able to create a more meaningful ranking that resonated more with my soul.
I asked myself some questions to help me think through what core values are important to me.
These included:
- What attributes you appreciate in others? These are often values that will help us to feel proud of ourselves if we act in these ways.
- What behaviours really upset you and make you shake your head? These can also point to values that are important to us. For example, if you get really upset when you hear of others being bullied, then it’s pretty safe to say that kindness is a value that is important to you.
- What good news stories that make you want to jump for joy? Can you identify what values were these relate to? For example, if you feel warm and fuzzy after hearing of an abused animal finding a new loving home, animal welfare could be an important value you appreciate.
- What are the bad news stories that make you wish for better? What qualities were lacking here? This one is similar to identifying what behaviours upset you. Strong negative reactions can often be just as enlightening as our positive reactions.
- Think about your past experiences. Was there a time when you felt perfectly in alignment (when everything felt right in the world)? Or conversely, was there a time when everything felt wrong and out of whack? Can you pinpoint what core factors influenced these feelings?
Completing this exercise, you might find that there are obvious signs of your core values or it might help to note down your answers to look for any common themes in your thoughts. Are there any patterns or trends in your answers that indicate which qualities are important to you?
For me, some were obvious and others were more subtle, but both gave me more of an insight into who I was at my core. I needed this after my struggles with depression as I’d lost sight of my values and who I really was as a person.
Method 3:
Another method for considering your core values is one that was actually inspired by one of my sister’s courses I completed.
The course, Purposeful (check it out here!), guides you through a journey of self-discovery. It is focused mainly on using this discovery to craft your perfect business, but at the time I first went through the course, I didn’t have any business aspirations at all, and was purely trying to relearn who I was and what I wanted out of life. It gave me plenty of food for thought and definitely helped me on my journey back to happiness – thanks sis!
In this method, it is all about internalising the process so that you are feeling more than thinking about it. Here’s how to go about it:
- Find a comfortable spot to sit with a list of possible values that you can circle or highlight (hint: you can use my list here!) and a journal if you would like to make notes
- Read out the first value (out loud is best)
- Close your eyes and think about that value
- Let it fill you up and note how it makes you feel
- Mark that value on your list with a circle for important or a cross for not important, or even make a note of your feelings surrounding that value
- Repeat for the following values you want to consider
- When you have gone through your list, look back at your markings or notes and identify the ones that produced the strongest feelings
So there are just 3 methods you can try to discover (or relearn!) what core values are most important to you. Hopefully, doing this process will help to give you the same greater sense of self that I gave me.
Having this greater self-awareness meant that I was then able to think and act on what was important to me and this was the first step in me working towards being proud of who I was as a person. It’s not that I felt I was a horrible person before I did this, BUT being conscious about acting in ways that were true to my values definitely started to help me to like myself more and be happier as a result.
(By the way, if you are feeling any hatred towards yourself, you are not alone! I’ve been there too – check out this post for extra steps to get you on the road to self-like and even self-love!)
Other bonuses of knowing your core values can include quicker decision making, targeting more meaningful goals to aim for and, ultimately, achieving greater satisfaction out of life. You can ask yourself ‘What action (or path) will make me proud of myself?’ 🙂
Don’t forget to grab your free copy of my core values worksheet! It includes a spot for you to write up your 10 top core values which you can then stick up on your wall to use as a reminder of what makes your soul sing 🙂 Sign up by clicking the image below!
Let me know how you get on and what you discovered your core values to be. Did the results surprise you?
If you are currently feeling depression, please know that you can get through this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you are feeling suicidal or on the edge of reason, please reach out right now by contacting family, friends or by using one of the contacts here. Know that others have overcome these dark feelings and are now living lives full of joy. I want that for you too, so please have hope and start your own journey to happiness xo
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