In this post: why forgiving yourself and others is a good idea, the benefits of forgiveness, the dangers of not practising forgiveness, and how to forgive yourself
Are you holding a grudge against yourself for a mistake you made or how you acted long ago? Or maybe it’s someone else you resent for causing you pain?
I’ve dealt with both in my life (in fact, I’m a seasoned pro at holding a grudge against myself!) and it has caused me a lot of angst at times. It’s taken many years, but I’ve realised that there is no value in holding on to this pain and that forgiveness is the key to moving past it.
Before we dive in, I want to clear up what forgiveness actually is. I think there is sometimes a misunderstanding that forgiveness means we are condoning someone’s hurtful actions against us and it doesn’t have to be that at all.
It’s more about YOU.
You letting go of the pain of regret, resentment, shame, anger and guilt. You deciding to move on in your life with compassion and love instead of toxic thoughts.
Forgiveness is a way to free yourself from the power these emotions have over you. And it can work for both negative feelings you have towards yourself and negative feelings you have towards others.
Examples of experiences that forgiveness have helped me to overcome include:
- from feeling the shame of making mistakes (seemingly time and time again),
- regret from how I’ve acted in various situations (including a few back in high school!), and
- resenting people for ‘doing me wrong’ and treating me badly in my life
Psst: I’ve created a free workbook that includes a powerful forgiveness exercise you can do right now. Click on the image below to grab it now!
Here are 5 reasons why forgiving yourself and others is a good idea…
Toxic thoughts only hurt you
Being angry or hating yourself doesn’t make you a better person, in fact it only brings you down and stops you from trying things and really experiencing life because you become fearful that you aren’t good enough.
And I’m sorry to tell you but resenting others for hurting you won’t do anything to right the wrong. They won’t suffer because you wish them ill and it won’t take away what has already happened.
While it is natural to feel anger when we feel someone has treated us poorly, the truth is that it will hurt us much more than it will them to hold onto hateful thoughts.
Do yourself a favour and work to move forward without that burden.
Make room for more positive feelings
When you use forgiveness to accept whatever is causing you negative feelings, such as regret, resentment, anger, guilt and shame, you make room for more positive emotions, such as contentment, humour, joy, happiness and love.
Instead of dwelling on the things that cause you emotional pain, your thoughts are free to focus on what is happening to you right now and you can enjoy each moment of life more.
Let go of what causes you negative feelings with a forgiving heart and you will feel more goodness coming into your life.
Related post: How To Protect Yourself From Negativity
Take charge of your life
We often feel like a victim of our past circumstances, that we can’t live our life to the fullest because of something that happened to us in the past and it has affected who we are as a person.
The impact they’ve had on us can leave us feeling broken and out of control of our own life. But what if, instead of looking at these experiences as hurdles that will always be there, we use forgiveness to move them from our path forward to lie firmly in our past?
See them as something that has helped you to become who you are today, but doesn’t hold you back from seeing the potential of making the most of your life in the future.
Give yourself peace
Holding onto feelings like regret, anger, and guilt can cause us a lot of inner turmoil and unrest. When these emotions are playing in our minds, we can have trouble eating, sleeping and relaxing.
It affects our mental wellbeing and spills over into our physical wellbeing as well. There are even studies showing the link between these feelings and high blood pressure (and other ill health)!
By practicing forgiveness, you free yourself from this agitation and find peace by putting things to rest.
Become your best self
As far as I’m concerned, forgiveness is the first step you need to take if you want to become the best version of yourself. It lets you start with a clean slate to move forward and become exactly who you want to be.
It’s not so much about forgetting your past as it is putting anything negative behind you so that you can step into your full potential. See past grievances as life lessons instead of permanent curses that you can’t shake.
Let yourself start believing in yourself and others again.
Related post: How To Love Yourself
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So instead of holding onto your grudges against yourself and others like they are a badge of honour, why not overcome them and free yourself from the pain they bring.
Here’s a recap of 5 reasons you should forgive yourself:
- Stop hurting yourself with toxic thoughts
- Make room for more positive feelings
- Take charge of your life
- Give yourself peace, and
- Become your best self
There are plenty of ways that you can practice forgiveness and I have included my favourite way in a free workbook for you to use. It also includes 4 other actions to help you step into your full potential and be your best self and I hope you find it really useful.
Enter your details below to grab it right now!
Have you practised forgiveness towards yourself or others before? If so, how did it make you feel? And if not, why not?
Much love,
Sarah
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