In this post: Common sources of negativity and negative situations, how to have a positive mindset in the face of these negative situations, and how to set boundaries and protecting yourself against negativity
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Negativity can be a super-villain, seemingly trying to derail your attempts to get happy at every turn and sucking the fun right out of any situation, if you let it. Like trying to win any battle against a villain, you need to come up with a way to defend yourself against it and its’ attacks.
Unfortunately, it is near impossible to completely crush the negativity villain (unless, perhaps, if you move to a remote part of the world and cut all outside contact :-)). But there are ways in which we can protect ourselves from its’ destructive forces.
Like any good battle plan, it starts with learning about your opponent and where it might come at you from. So, without further ado, let’s look at the common sources that negativity might hit you from.
What are some common sources of negativity?
While we sometimes have a source of negativity within us, it has often developed and been fed from something external to us. The following sources often spread spade-fulls of negativity about:
- Watching the news on television
- Hearing about bad things happening
- Advertising
- Criticism or bullying
- Work
We will look at each of these individually and also discuss how you can protect yourself from internal negativity.
Watching the news on television
Oh my goodness! The number of times I have felt absolutely terrible after watching the news could fill a book, and don’t get me started on how often it brings me to tears (often ugly, sounds like I’m dying sobs).
It is a fact, news broadcasts focus on negative events rather than happy, positive ones. Why? Because they offer them more drama to report on than the feel-good stories do and, unfortunately, as human beings we are more likely to stop what we are doing and pay attention to negative, ‘can’t look away from the crash’ type of stories.
How can I protect myself?
- Make a habit of reading the latest news bulletins rather than watching it on the big screen. It is much easier to skim over the not-so-happy parts of their reports while still getting the gist of what’s happening.
- Bookmark yourself some happy, inspirational websites to look at straight away afterwards to remember that good DOES happen in the world as well as the bad.
- If you have a family member or friend who enjoys the news, simply ask them to keep you updated on any stories you need to know, but otherwise mum’s the word.
Hearing about bad things happening
These might come from the news channels we just spoke about, but in this day and age, you can learn about these sorts of things from pretty much anywhere.
- Bad news might include:
- Accidents or crashes
- Destructive storms or events
- Abuse of human rights
- Animal cruelty
- Environmental degradation, etc
How can I protect myself?
- Think about and be grateful for the good things in life (in your own life, your society, or worldwide)
- Be mindful and let the feelings pass without tearing you down
- Think about how you might be able to help out. Are you in a position to provide a donation of some sort? Can you call or write a letter to your representatives to let them know of your concerns? Can you volunteer or take home-grown action of some sort?
Advertising
Unfortunately, a lot of advertising looks to build negativity and create a sense of dissatisfaction within yourself. That is how they sell their products, by telling you that your life isn’t good enough until you have this such-and-such product or that you won’t be happy until you have such-and-such service in your life.
How can I protect myself?
- Be conscious of the selling technique
- Be grateful for what you have already
- Realise that different products work for different people, if you do really need a product or service, research the one that is going to work best FOR YOU.
Criticism
Sometimes we feel negativity swelling up when someone has criticised us or said something unkind. It can make us feel like we have done something wrong or, even worse, like we hate ourselves (see my post on moving past self-hatred here).
How can I protect myself?
- Realise that they may not have meant their comment in the way we took it. Sometimes there is a misinterpretation in our understanding of what they are really trying to say and sometimes people have trouble finding the right words (or tact!) to say something in a constructive, rather than an offensive way. For example, quite often, my husband will think I’m angry at him when all it really was is that I used the wrong tone while speaking (my whole family suffers from this kind of ‘tone-deafness’). Luckily this is usually quickly resolved 🙂
- Put it in perspective, it is only their opinion, it is not the end of the world. Sure, it’s never nice to receive criticism and we are often trying to please others (our boss, our friends and family etc), but it is just an opinion. We can move on from it and do things differently next time if needed or accept that we are not going to please everyone all the time.
- Create a strong identity and mindset. If we are secure in ourselves, then we are less likely to be affected by external criticism.
- Remember that no one can make you feel something you don’t want to feel. You can send that feeling away and replace it with a happier feeling.
Work
Situations at work can try to bring us down in a number of ways. Listening to negative co-workers, dealing with difficult clients or just the day-to-day drudgery of an unloved job can all wear away at us leaving a sense of negativity.
How can I protect myself?
- Tune out when your co-workers are having their negative soapbox moment by placing an invisible soundproof bubble around you.
- For client-driven drama, check out this post on setting boundaries with your clients.
- Hate your job? Create a goal for changing to something better/more fulfilling. Luckily there’s a heap of resources out there guiding us to achieve a better work-life.
Internal negativity
Once it gets a hold, we can often get stuck in a bit of a cycle where negativity breeds more negativity. If you are already in this cycle, you may need to take a holistic look at your life and find where you can break free from the cycle. If you are just experiencing a random shot of negativity in your day, see these tips to overcome it.
How can I protect myself?
- Remind yourself of the positives in your life and the world around you.
- Get out your journal and write down everything you are grateful for. Include everything from having clean water to drink, to the endless opportunities available to us in this day and age.
- Exercise! Get your body moving to activate your endorphins and shake that negativity right to the kerb. Dance session anyone?
- Journal about what is troubling you and why you think it is. Can you solve the source of negativity in a productive manner?
- Realise that some things are completely out of our control. It is a waste of time to let negativity seep from something we can’t take action on. The only solution here is to be mindful of this and move on.
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By implementing these practices and using boundaries against common sources of negativity, I find it so much easier to have a positive mindset when facing negative situations.
Hopefully, next time negativity tries to derail your positive mood and awesomely happy day, you will have a few shields you can pull out and divert that supervillain from breaking through so you can continue on your merry way.
Now I’d love to know: can think of any other ways to protect yourself from the happy-sucking pitfalls that negativity creates? Please let me know in the comments below!!
Much love,
Sarah xo
If you are currently feeling severe negativity and/or depression, please know that you can get through this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you are feeling suicidal or on the edge of reason, please reach out right now by contacting family, friends or by using one of the contacts here. Know that others have overcome these dark feelings and are now living lives full of joy. I want that for you too, so please have hope and start your own journey to happiness xo
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