In this post: What to do if you have depression, common causes of depression to help you understand it, and 10 actions to take to beat depression (starting today!)
Unfortunately, I’ve had many battles with depression and so I know that when you are in the thick of it, it’s easy to think that you’re somehow broken and will never be fixed. That your sadness/numbness/lack of ability to be happy is an ingrained part of you and that’s just how it is. That you are less valuable as a person than those around you and will never be able to give anything worthwhile.
If you are there now: please STOP thinking this way.
If you have got depression, it is NOT because there is something wrong with you as a person. There are a wealth of different factors that contribute to and trigger depression, including many which are out of our control and none of them have anything to do with our value as a human being.
You are incredible, just as you are, in how you have come together into a living, breathing human being. (If you are feeling any self-hatred see my post: How To Love Yourself)
So, if it’s not because of some inherent personal trait, why do people get depressed in the first place?
Some common causes of depression
It is probably impossible to make a list of every single cause or factor in contributing to and triggering depression in us, and generally, it is from a range of things instead of just one. But there are ones that show up regularly, including:
- Experiencing a traumatic event or experience like abuse, death of a loved one, or serious illness;
- Being involved in serious or ongoing conflict;
- Low self-esteem;
- High levels of stress or anxiety;
- Being bullied;
- A tendency to be self-critical or a perfectionist;
- Having trouble discussing or dealing with turbulent feelings;
- Medications – some may increase the risk of depression;
- Substance abuse can cause people to feel imbalanced and tip over the edge into depression.
Sure, all of these things have the power to stop you in your tracks and sink into a dark place, but none of these is insurmountable. If you commit to taking action to remove the power these have over you, then you can overcome them by learning to deal with them or by crushing them completely.
How can I beat depression?
Luckily, even though depression can be caused by a lot of things, there are more ways than ever before for us to start on the path of recovery and beat depression. The most powerful thing you can do is commit to taking action.
Again, it would be impossible for me to list every course of action you could take to crush that depression darkness into a pulp, but here are the ones that I have personally used and found to be effective when I committed to them (that really is the most important step!).
Let’s take a look!
Get professional help
Possibly not what you want to hear if you are a shy introvert like me, but if you can access professional help, then they can at least set you on the right path.
If you are lucky enough to find someone (or more!) that you can open up to and talk honestly with them (which unfortunately I struggled with), then they can guide you through your journey to a depression free life.
Even though I had trouble opening up during my sessions with a counsellor, I still benefited from their knowledge of the actions I could take to overcome depression.
See my help page to find links to websites listing professionals in your country.
Improve your mindset
Your mindset is your attitude towards the world around you and, when we have depression, our mindsets are usually pretty negative about things. Changing our mindset can be really powerful in helping us get out of a depressed state of being.
When we really put it into black-and-white terms, we have complete control over our minds and what we think, so technically we could just flick a switch and decide to think only positive thoughts and bar any external negativity from ever entering our minds again.
In reality, it generally takes time to train our brains to change from their existing, unhelpful patterns to more healthy and productive ones. I have found journaling to be a big help in improving my mindset and because it was so impactful for me, I wanted to help you get into the habit of journaling too. I’ve created a 7-day journaling email series to kick you off!! Click on the image below to get started now (it’s free!).
Deal with traumatic experiences
Firstly, get out of abusive or destructive situations if you can, e.g. leave that toxic workplace or relationship, it will make it so much easier to move past it when you are out of the situation. If you can’t, find ways to protect yourself from the negativity (see my post on tips on this here).
The next step is to work through any unhealthy residue left from the experience. Again, working with a counsellor you can really open up to is best, but you can also take action yourself through journaling and really exploring what comes up – try to look at it objectively with reason rather than subjectively with emotion.
If you find yourself holding onto any painful feelings, look at using forgiveness to let them go, as well as rebuilding your self-worth and self-esteem. Learn how to live again.
Related posts: 5 Reasons You Need To Forgive Yourself And Others and How To Overcome Feelings Of Low Self-Worth
Look after your health
“You are what you eat” is a common saying and while you’re not actually going to turn into a pizza if you have one too many, it is true in that what you eat is what provides the fuel your body uses to function.
Eating healthy foods full of nutrients and fibre will give your body what it needs and help it run that much smoother. This can help with our moods, attitudes and general feelings, impacting on our mental health.
Check out this post on 8 Foods That Help Fight Depression.
Exercise is a bit of an elixir for our minds and bodies, releasing feel-good endorphins and taking our mind off any troubles. Also, if you exercise regularly and get your body in tip-top shape, it is going to function at its’ best, which, in turn, will help to make you feel your best.
Related post: How To Start Exercising For Health And Happiness
Bolster your defences
By this, I mean working on some self-improvement for your mind. Build up your self-esteem and confidence, work on ways to manage or overcome your tendency to worry and be anxious, learn mindfulness, and generally strengthen your mind and learn to love yourself, imperfections and all.
This is strongly linked to mindset work and there are many ways in which to build yourself up. We will be looking at these further in future posts 🙂
Bolstering yourself up can also help to protect you against any bullying you may be experiencing. You can learn not to take it to heart and better recognise that bullying is more of a reflection of what is going on with the person doing the bullying rather than anything to do with you.
Related post: How To Protect Yourself From Negativity
Resolve any conflict
Conflict can really upset our overall well being, so the next time it looks like conflict is on the horizon, ask yourself, does it really matter?
Is it against your core values? If so, it might be worthwhile discussing the matter, but do your best to stay calm and reasonable and let the other party have their say too. You might have to agree to disagree.
If it’s not something relating to your core values, let it go. If possible, don’t even let the argument get started in the first place. And, if it has turned into a mountain from a molehill? Be the bigger person and say sorry and move on.
Another type of conflict we can be involved in is when we are caught between 2 arguing parties and you are stuck right smack bang in the middle, trying to keep the peace. This one can be really hard to get a handle on because it’s not in our power to force the opposing parties to let it go.
For this instance, protect yourself as much as possible by avoiding their dramas or see if any of these tips for When You Find Yourself In The Middle Of Conflict help.
Surround yourself with positivity
Find yourself a supportive group of friends to be around. There’s nothing quite like a laugh with positive, encouraging people to boost your mood.
Try gently opening up to your friends or find an online group who understand what you’re going through. I love The SoulSisterhood hosted by Dominee from Blessing Manifesting.
Also, write yourself a list of things that are good at inspiring and motivating you. Then use this when you are feeling down to find something to get you back on track to happier thoughts.
Related post: How To Get Happy When You’re Sad
Learn mindfulness
Mindfulness is one of those things that can seem like a total waste of time when you first attempt it, but that will bring you a wealth of benefits if you push through and learn how to implement it in your life.
I did an 8-week Mindfulness course (a resource found through my counsellor) and while, at the time, it felt like torture trying to meditate and breathe deeply among other things, I am still reaping the rewards today. I have more control over my thoughts and feelings and can calm down from stress and anxiety quicker.
Related post: How To Practice Mindfulness For Anxiety Relief
Practice gratitude
Having depression can narrow our view to only the negative things: how hard life seems, where we are lacking in ourselves, what we don’t have in life, how unfair life seems, how mean people are and the list can go on.
But if we make sure we practice gratitude by really appreciating all the things that we DO have in life, then we can start to break this constant negativity. When we do this, we realise just how many gifts we have to be thankful for and, if we let this really soak in, we can reap some amazing goodness in our lives in return – just from being grateful!!
Related post: How To Create A Gratitude Practice
Take antidepressants
I know, I know, there is a bit of a stigma against taking antidepressants. There’s a feeling that if you’re on them, then you must be crazy. I used to be scared of them myself.
But after having severe depression, where I was in a catch-22 cycle of not being able to see any good in the world or myself, and hence not feeling any joy (or much of anything at all), I am thankful that I went onto antidepressants to help me break that vicious downwards cycle before it was too late.
Also, starting on antidepressants doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be on them forever. I have since stopped antidepressants (and started them again at times) without falling to pieces.
Just make sure that you are aware of what you are taking and the possible side effects, so if you do have a reaction you know what’s going on and can get your doctor to change you to a different type.
If you’re in a place where you can try natural remedies first, do that for sure, but sometimes we let things go too far and need a little medicinal help. Please don’t feel ashamed if you need to take antidepressants, it is really just like taking medicine for any illness you might have.
Bonus Action: Kick substance abuse to the kerb
That crap is not good for you, woman!
If you have a substance abuse problem, take steps to conquer it, it will be well worth your time. Cut out illicit or unprescribed drugs and smokes completely and learn to enjoy alcohol in moderation only.
Find a support group such as AA where you can meet and learn from others in person, or find an online community (try searching on Facebook) that can give you some extra support. There are also some great books out there that have helped people to quit their addictions and live healthier lives.
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To recap, some powerful ways to beat depression include:
- Get professional help
- Improve your mindset
- Deal with traumatic experiences
- Look after your health
- Bolster your defences
- Resolve any conflict
- Surround yourself with positivity
- Learn mindfulness
- Practice gratitude
- Take antidepressants
- Kick substance abuse to the kerb
Some other helpful actions are listening to upbeat music, setting and working towards goals, getting out and enjoying being in nature or finding some sunshine to soak in (with sunscreen on!), and taking intentional action to add more fun into your life.
Overcoming depression doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen. Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, remember how far you have come already. Remember everything you have faced, all the ‘battles’ you have won and the fears you have overcome.
We each come together in a completely unique way with different backgrounds, experiences, thoughts and feelings. No one can replace you because no one is exactly like you. Each and every one of us is important and we can all make a difference in this world by doing our own bit of good and adding value to society.
Know that while you are unique, you are not alone.
We are all different, yet we have many shared experiences as well, it is the varied combinations that make up our individual beings. Take comfort in the fact that millions of people have had depression and have moved on from it, you can too.
What are your top tips for overcoming depression? Share it in the comments below, it just might help someone to feel better today.
If you are currently feeling depression, please know that you can get through this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you are feeling suicidal or on the edge of reason, please reach out right now by contacting family, friends or by using one of the contacts here. Know that others have overcome these dark feelings and are now living lives full of joy. I want that for you too, so please have hope and start your own journey to happiness xo
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