In this post: Find out what is self-love and what it isn’t (hint: self-love is not being egotistical!), and why practising self-love is a good idea.
Let me ask you a question:
Do you love yourself?
For most of us, the answer is a resounding ‘no!’ or a ‘well I don’t know… maybe’. Shouting a ‘hell yes!’ to this question feels incredibly uncomfortable for most of us.
Why is that?
Do you think that if you loved yourself you would be egotistical and ‘up yourself’? That you would be seen as being full of yourself? That you’d annoy everyone but yourself with your ‘I am so amazing’ attitude?
I used to think so. Self-love was something I thought I should stay well clear of otherwise I would be all these undesirable things.
And it was pretty easy to do with plenty of negative self-talk, telling myself that I was stupid and that I couldn’t do anything right, and developing a self-hatred of myself instead.
No one could have possibly thought I was egotistical, or so I thought anyway… turns out that people can think whatever they like!
All this negative thinking really did was drag me into a pit of depression feeling like I had nothing of value to add to the world. What I couldn’t see was that I had created an attitude of self-loathing that didn’t help anybody, it was destroying me from the inside out.
As part of my recovery from depression, I realised that I had to start being kinder to myself if I wanted to make real progress towards a happier, more fulfilling life.
But first I had to bust through my deeply ingrained belief that self-love was a bad thing.
I had to throw out the misconceptions and learn what self-love actually was. And now I want to share what I found with you!
By the way, if you’re ready to feel better about yourself, I’ve created a Self-Love Journal with 31 journal prompts to guide you on your own self-love journey. Click here to grab your copy and get started!
What is Self-love?
Self-love is:
Having self awareness and knowing (and liking!) yourself
When you know yourself you can be comfortable in your own skin and be true to yourself and live in alignment with what’s important to you.
Related post: The Top 3 Ways To Work Out What’s Important To You
Being proud of who you are and not caring what others think about you
When you feel self-love, you are not so reliant on others giving you their approval because you already have it from yourself.
Related post: How To Be Proud Of Yourself
Having self-compassion and giving yourself forgiveness
Part of self-love is realising that we all make mistakes, so rather than beating yourself up over slip-ups or past bad decisions, forgive yourself and move on.
Related post: 5 Reasons You Should Forgive Yourself
Recognising that you are incredible, just as you are
Self-love is acknowledging that you are a remarkable one-of-a-kind individual, even while you are working on self-growth to be the best you can be.
Related post: How To Love Yourself
Taking care of yourself
Self-love is knowing that to be your best you need to look after your health and wellbeing. ** This is true even if you have others relying on you – you can’t pour from an empty cup after all! **
Related post: 7 Daily Self-Care Habits You Need To Build Your Happiness
Being your own best friend and cheerleader
Self-love is giving yourself the encouragement you need to deal with difficulties, reach for your dreams or sometimes even just to help you get through the day.
Related post: 5 Ways I’m Being My Own Best Friend
Listening to and trusting your intuition
Self-love is honouring your intuition and trusting that it will guide you in the right direction.
Knowing that you are capable of so much goodness
Nowadays more so than ever, individuals can really achieve amazing goodness in life. Knowing how powerful you can be helps to bring that self-love feeling alive.
Taking responsibility for yourself and making the most out of your life
Self-love is rising above any negative situations or hardships and doing the best you can in spite of these.
Psst: if you’re ready to feel better about yourself, I’ve created a Self-Love Journal with 31 journal prompts to guide you on your own self-love journey. Click here to grab your copy and get started!
On the flip side, here are the things that self-love isn’t…
What self-love isn’t:
Self-love ISN’T:
Being egotistical
Self-love is not being boastful, conceited and talking about yourself all the time. You can have self-love without any of these!
Thinking that you are better than everyone else
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you can’t see the good in everybody else as well, in fact, I have found that self-love makes us more loving of others too.
Thinking that you are never wrong
Self-love is knowing your weaknesses as well as your strengths and being accepting of both. It isn’t thinking that you are right all the time.
Not caring about others
Self-love doesn’t mean that we are selfish and don’t care about others. Probably the opposite is true, when we love ourselves and take care of ourselves we have more energy to care for others.
Not being kind to others
Practising self-love helps you to practice kindness to yourself AND others. You become aware of how nice it feels to be kind to yourself… And so you want to make others feel that way too.
Only loving yourself when things are going well
It’s easy to be happy with ourselves when things are going well and life is travelling along nicely, but true self-love lasts even when times are tough. It steps in and helps us to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Blaming others when things go wrong
Having self-love for yourself doesn’t mean that you blame others when anything goes wrong in your life. You take responsibility for life’s ups and downs, even if someone else did something to affect you negatively.
Related Post: How To Stop Taking Things Personally
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I have found that creating more self-love in my life has seen my happiness levels increase and I am more positive and resilient when things go pear-shaped in my life (which let’s face it does happen from time to time!).
There has been an increase in my confidence and I feel more at peace with myself and the world around me.
With all of these factors taken into account, self-love is definitely something worth developing and I hope I have convinced you to start your own self-love journey!
If you’re interested in giving yourself a kick-start on your journey to loving yourself, you’ll love my Self-Love Journal. In it, I share 31 journal prompts that will help you to tap into just how amazing you really are. Click here to grab your copy now!
Make sure to let me know how you get on with your own self-love journey so I can celebrate your “aha moments” and personal wins along the way!
Much love,
Sarah xo
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